Do We Pack Our Fears?
September 2023
Recently one of my sons was packing for an overseas trip which included three weeks of walking on trails. Wondering what to take, he called a good friend who travels a lot and asked him, “What should I pack?” His answer was, “Don’t pack your fears.” When asked to explain, his friend said, “Well, when you pack your fears, you take far more than you need and often the wrong things. What if it rains or snows? What if you're invited to a formal event? Or you run out of clean shorts or socks or shirts or shoes?” And soon we have packed for three months, not three weeks.
Of course we should take good and reasonable precautions but there can be “excessive” packing. We can tend to pack for our fears in almost every area of our lives. For example, when it comes to saving money: How much do we need? How do we remain safe in such an unpredictable world? When it comes to health: What happens when I get sick or frail or suffer memory loss? Will we grow old alone? Will some tragedy derail our life?
When it comes to family: Will I become married and will my partnership survive the storms of life? Will my kids turn out okay? And of course there are the life questions: What will happen to me? Will my life make a difference to anyone? What’s more important, who I am or what I do? And on it goes.
Our over-packing takes many forms. We fear death so “futurize" constantly, instead of appreciating the living moment we are in right now. We spend money on special pills, or we over exercise daily, etc. Or we fear financial poverty and so we work extra hard to make money, often to the neglect of other issues such as family, health, and community. Excessive fear-based behavior can be costly to our health. life and relationships, etc. So how do we navigate our fears and our reactions?
“We need to: 1) name and clearly face the severity and likelihood of the thing we fear, 2) identify what we can and can't control, 3) accept what we cannot control, and 4) assess the internal and external costs of exercising excessive control over the rest. Then and only then can we make the choices we need to make to not ‘over-pack’, not because the bad things will never happen, but because packing for our fears diminishes and restricts our ongoing lives in spiritually damaging ways”.*
Many people look to scriptures as a resource which speaks to the areas deep inside each of us as we face our lack of control in so much of life.
Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. ( Joshua 1:9)
I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. (Ps.34:4-6)
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you….. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. (John 14:26)
“The Lord our God is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love”. (Exodus 34:6)
Will we continually and unsuccessfully pack for our endless fears? Or will we begin the journey by growing in our faith which increasingly encourages us to trust in God.
Blessings
Tom
* And thanks to our two great editors that rewrote and edited much of this blog, Nicola Aime and Karen Cooper.